On morning so wacky, hours before Kris Kringle's arrival,
Three kids, mom, and dad, awake, mingle, and jingle.
Sun laughs mighty brightly on white snowy ground,
In cozy warm home, joyous anticipation and laughter abound.
Mom gathers the kiddos, eyes sparkling with glee,
For a ziggity-zag secret she hid, just wait and you'll see.
"Early gifts for you all, my dear little crew,
Are waiting outside." Oh, the excitement it grew!
With flibber-jabber and flubber, the kids dash the door,
To find the surprises that mom had in store.
On the porch, oh my goodness, a fantastical array,
Three snow shovels, dancing in a merry ballet.
Adorned with ribbons, so festively displayed,
Each shovel stands gleaming, both handle and blade.
The kids can't believe, oh, the joy in their eyes,
To find such treasures, a sweet morning surprise!
"We can whoosh while we work," the littlest one cheers,
"So much snow to shovel, let's start over there!"
With laughter in their hearts and their shovels so grand,
They dashed to the neighbor's winter wonderland.
The house next door, where the icy tire tracks lay,
The neighbor was off, leaving early that day.
When out on the porch, they begin their sweet task,
The kids sprang to action, oh, this job is so whack?
With shovels so eager, they clear paths and more,
Each giggle and chuckle, a delightful chore.
They dance and they prance, in snow, oh, so bright,
Spreading joy and delight, oh, what a sight!
The snow, like confetti, flies high in the air,
As the kids, with their shovels, continue to share.
They whoop and they cheer, in a snowy display,
A morning adventure, on this magical day.
Work In Progress
This poem is a small piece of a much bigger, more ambitious project I started a few years ago. The date on this post gives away just how long it has been sitting, waiting, untouched. I am finally pulling it back out, rough edges and all.
This draft is not finished. It is playful, messy, and very much in progress. That is intentional for where I am right now. I am sharing it because I want to workshop it, not polish it in isolation.
If you are willing, I would genuinely appreciate feedback. Comments are welcome and encouraged. Here are the three areas where your input would help me most.
1. Tone and language
The poem leans hard into playful, exaggerated language. Words like ziggity-zag, flibber-jabber, and whack are doing a lot of work. I am not sure yet which of them earn their place and which might be too much. I would love thoughts on where the playfulness adds joy and where it distracts.
2. Rhythm and pacing
This poem wants to move quickly, like kids racing outside on a snowy morning. Some lines feel bouncy and light, others feel crowded. I am especially curious where the rhythm flows naturally and where it stumbles.
3. Focus and payoff
At its heart, this is a poem about anticipation, surprise, and small acts of joy. I am not convinced yet that the ending earns everything that comes before it. Does the poem land where it should, or does it need a clearer emotional turn?
If you have thoughts, reactions, or suggestions, I would love to hear them. This is one of those drafts that will only get better through conversation.
